Often, people unintentionally confuse gender with sex or sexuality. Gender is distinct from sex assigned at birth, which may be designated with categories such as female, male, or intersex. Sex is distinct from sexuality, which is about desire: to whom one is attracted emotionally and/or physically. Gender, distinct from both sex and sexuality, is a socially created and regularly reinforced cultural construct. As such, gender is vulnerable to social reinscriptions that sometimes perpetuate problematic and even discriminatory notions of how people should look, sound, express, or behave.... The most common concepts of gender are based on the long-perpetuated notion that gender is a binary matter, and that it always aligns with a binary designation of sex (male/female). Yet contemporary understandings of gender clarify that gender identity and expression occur along a broad spectrum that is not limited to two binary alternatives, such as woman/man or girl/boy.
Adapted from: Key Terms and Concepts in Understanding Gender Diversity and Sexual Orientation Among Students
A gender neutral or gender inclusive pronoun is a pronoun which does not associate a gender with the individual who is being discussed. While using singular “they” pronouns has been happening in the English language for centuries, you may still find yourself struggling with this. Just remember, it takes practice!
Image credit: TSER Infographic Series
Note from the TSER website (italics and bold added):
There are no “male/female” or “man/woman” pronouns. All pronouns can be used for any gender and are gender neutral. We also do not use “preferred pronouns” due to people generally not having a pronoun “preference” but simply having “pronouns.” Using “preferred” can accidentally insinuate that using the correct pronouns for someone is optional.
Everyone slips up from time to time, it's part of being human. Until you become practiced at using pronouns that are dissonant with your assumptions about a person’s gender, you are likely to make mistakes, it's how you respond to them that is important. In the moment we make a mistake, we might become embarrassed, defensive, dismissive, or even angry. Those feelings are normal, but can cause more harm than the initial mistake if we react to them.
For more information and practices on gender-affirming communication, please see: Finding Your True Voice: A Guide to Gender-Affirming Verbal Communication
Here are some steps you can take if you make a mistake and misgender someone:
Adapted from: University of Michigan - Gender Diversity and Pronouns
Living a life where people will naturally assume the correct pronouns for you is a privilege that not everyone experiences. Honoring someone's pronouns acknowledges their humanity, validates their identity, and helps to create an inclusive environment. Taking the time to practice someone's pronouns if need be and respecting them can make a huge difference in a trans or gender-nonconforming person's day.
Note from mypronouns.org:
Just as it can be offensive or even harassing to make up a nickname for someone and call them that nickname against their will, it can be offensive or harassing to guess at someone’s pronouns and refer to them using those pronouns if that is not how that person wants to be known. Or, worse, actively choosing to ignore the pronouns someone has stated that they go by could imply the oppressive notion that intersex, transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people do not or should not exist.
Incorporate gender pronouns in everyday use with the following strategies:
Ways to make language more inclusive:
Use the phrase “Hey, everyone” or "How are all y'all doing?" in a group setting instead of “Hey guys!” or “Hey ladies!" or "How are you guys doing?"
Instead of “yes, sir” or “thank you, ma’am” or other language that makes gender-based assumptions, you could simply communicate:
Instead of calling upon or remarking about a particular “man” or “woman” (who has not disclosed that identity):
Instead of “he or she” or “s/he” (when speaking of an unknown or universal person):
Adapted from: University of California San Fracisco LGBT Resource Center and mypronouns.org
To create a classroom that is inclusive of all genders, evaluate your concrete, day-to-day classroom practices. Here are some suggestions for assessment and ways to work toward making your classroom gender-inclusive:
Make your course policies and language trans-inclusive in your syllabus. Consider including:
Specific ground rules about respecting designated pronouns and other gendered language
Resources that will be helpful for LGBTQ+ students in the resources section of your syllabus
Instructions on how to change designated pronouns in Canvas
Adapted from: University of California San Fracisco LGBT Resource Center, Teaching Tolerance Best Practices for Serving LGBTQ Students, and Statement on Gender and Language